Are you afraid of the dark?

I woke up Tuesday morning to a few massive branches down in my front yard, and on my home, which had knocked out the power. As I sat Tuesday night in a dark home, with a fire and one candle still going, it made me think about the power of one light, one flame and how strong it is. It lit up the room, the whole room and every room I was in not just one, as I carried that light with me from room to room. It was the light in the darkness and all I needed was one. I craved to go buy more, to light out my whole house, but didn’t want to leave the warmth of the fire. I kept imagining what my house would be like if it was filled with tiny flames, that collectively light up everything. It gave me goosebumps. I felt it, I felt the glory of it, the magnificent of it, the peace of it. I knew it was time to be the light, to stop hiding who I really am, and how easy it is for one flame to light another.

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It has been so prevalent in my life recently, I found a story yesterday that said “Perhaps it’s not our dark side we fear, Perhaps we're really afraid of our gifts, our brilliance, our light. Now is a time of light”. (Journey to the Heart) Another page of a story ripped out on my fridge that says “How long must one remain in the dark” she replied “until one can see in the dark” and casting the burden enables one to see in the dark”. (The game of Life and How to Play it) When I look at the reds, yellows and oranges of the fall colors I feel the flame inside, I meditate on it. The last sentence in my paper for school said, the bigger the flame, the brighter the collective. Last and absolutely not least I opened my bible tonight to Ephesians 5:13-14: “But everything exposed to the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible”. With a note I had written next to it…BE THE LIGHT. (I have no idea when I wrote that)

The message is simple, it is direct, it is what I have been unknowingly craving, praying for a clear sign, BE THE LIGHT. Stop hiding who you are, your magic your gifts, BE THE LIGHT. Let go of the past. This isn’t about perfection, it is about being the light. Why do we hide, why do we dim out light? Did something put out your flame? When I think about doing this on my own this it seems heavy, be the light, what does that mean, me, what do you want me to do?The good news it we are not alone. We were never meant to do this alone.

To me, it means be just like this one little flame that is lighting up the room. That wherever I go, whatever I do, whoever I am with, BE THE LIGHT. Make it easier not harder, be steady and joyful, be peaceful, let go and let God as my soul sister always says. Be light, don’t take everything so hard, let go, be free, dream big,TRUST, forgive, show people the power of one flame, of their flame. For it is each flame coming together that will brighten the world, that will brighten your home. Fire can create or destroy. What are you doing with yours? Are you the light or the darkness? This is no easy task, it is letting go of what you think you "should" do and finally taking the step to believe in yourself, to fall in love with yourself, to

BE THE LIGHT.

Tonight I made sweet potatoes in the fire, played the guiar, wrote, had whiskey and tea, which I heated on the wood burning stove and thought about how grateful I am to be by the fire. My house is pitch dark and should be cold, but yet is warm, I even took my hoodie off. (If you know me I am always cold) Not tonight, I feel the warmth, this new direction in my life, of the power of one tiny little sentence. BE THE LIGHT. I will live by this now. (It will probably be my next tattoo )My house it’s the brightest it has ever been, my belly full, snow falling outside, no sound but the crackling of the fire place and my heart filled with BE THE LIGHT.

I feel safe here tonight in this quiet, dark home. This is not me, I have always been afraid of the dark, of what’s around the corner, who’s gonna get me, what’s that noise, who's gonna break my heart, when is the next shoe gonna drop?

As Rocky Mountain Power just arrived, in perfect timing, part of me wants them to leave the lights off, just for one night, because what I have realized tonight, in this peaceful old farmhouse is…

I am not longer afraid fo the dark.

“May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring